LVU: Lame Villains Unite!
by NightmareSelene
Summary: PG for some language, I guess. Mad Mod, Mumbo and Control Freak are sick of being the underdog villains, so, while in jail, they plot an escape and a plan to take on the Titans...together. Will they succeed?R&R Please!


NS: Hey again! Another Teen Titans fanfic! This one was inspired by my friend, Michael. (Who also helped me put together the Villainy part of Winner Take What's Left.) He loves the lamer villains like Mad Mod and I hope some of you do too! There will be many TV references in this fic, and if you don't get some of them right away, feel free to ask about it! So anyway, this is a dedication to all lame, wannabe villains and their fans! I give you, the L.V.U.!

L.V.U.: Lame Villains Unite!

Ch.1

Brits, Geeks and Magic Freaks

"I swear by my most prized Clash of the Planets DVD box-set that I will get my revenge!!!" Control Freak yelled as he was tossed into a small jail cell by two armed guards. "Hey, you know you guys look like those droids from Galaxy Wars."

The guards gave him a disgusted look from underneath their helmets and slammed he barred doors shut, leaving the nerdy villain to himself.

"Just you wait and see!" He called dramatically, his voice echoing off of the surrounding stone walls.

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It wasn't long that Control Freak was locked up before he was let back out...for lunch.

The inmates filed their way into the Mess Hall in a rather organized manner, got their food-which was white and mushy and resembled watery, smashed grits- and sat down at various benches. Control Freak saw two older men sitting at one bench nearest the door and decided to join them. They didn't take notice of his presence right away, however, and continued chatting.

"...and then he says..." The eldest looking one said, as if preparing for the punch-line of a joke. "...is that a toad-in-the-hole or what?! Ahahahaha!" The man laughed at his own joke, but the taller man next to him apparently did not get it, cocking an eyebrow as a large question mark appeared to the left of his head. He turned, only now noticing Control Freak.

"Hey, Moddy, it looks like we have a guest!" The tallest said, extending a hand. "I am the Amazing Mumbo!"

Control Freak shook the man's hand hesitantly, a bewildered look upon his face. He forced a smile in their direction.

"And I'm Mod, Mad Mod. Pleasure to meet ya, lad!" Mod added, forcing him to shake his hand. Control Freak's entire body shook due to the strength put into the exaggerated handshake.

"I'm Control Freak. I guess the Titans threw you into the slammer too, huh?" He asked, swirling his spoon in his meal and trying to find an appetite enough to eat it.

"Yeah, those lil' snots tossed me 'ere not so long ago...I almost got away, too." Mod scowled. "Bloody kids...no respect for their betters, eh?"

"Yeah, my wonderful performance was cut short by those brats! And during the finale! I can only imagine the horrible reviews!" Mumbo said, burying his head in his hands. "The critics will shame me into retireme-e-e-e-ent!!!" The former magician sobbed, gaining a pat on the back from Mad Mod.

"There there, mate. We'll get our revenge: we 'aven't been plottin' our escape for no reason." Mod gave a wink, which seemed to cheer Mumbo up.

"Escape?" Control Freak asked quietly, wary of the surrounding inmates.

"Oh, yes, and a spectacular show it will be!" Mumbo said happily, then added less-enthusiastically, "Well, once we work out all the messy details."

"The only messy details 'ere are Rancid an' his band o' bloody gits he calls 'Henchmen'. Pah! The mate's a bloody coward! Never fightin' 'is own battles!" Mod said, earning laughter from his friends. The three laughed merrily until a gruff 'Ahem' was heard from behind them. The three villains yelped upon seeing Johnny Rancid, backed up by about 6 burly men.

"I'd pound your face in for insulting me, old man, but I'm afraid we can't understand your ac'cent." Rancid growled, leaning extremely close to Mod's face. "Ya mind translating for me and my friends, _old man_?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking abou', lad!" Mod said with restrained nervousness, fiddling with his cuticles.

"Maybe if I bash your face in, it'll jog your memory." Johnny Rancid retorted, gripping the frilled collar of Mad Mod's shirt and yanking him up out of his seat.

"Come on now, Johnny, he's-as you said-an old man...why waste your time?" Mumbo objected quietly, his tone timid and shaky.

"Fine, then I'll pound the fat geek." Rancid said, turning to Control Freak. "Then if I'm unsatisfied, I get my way with the geezer."

"I warn you, I am a 12th degree black-belt in Astro-jitsu!" Control Freak claimed, attempting to show off fake karate moves, but stumbled and fell. "Yeesh, so much for reality television!"

"Oy, bloody American gits!" Mad Mod shouted at the two hopeless villains, twirling a plastic knife around his thin, bony fingers. He then turned to the burly prisoners that slowly closed in around him, snarling and popping their knuckles. "You wouldn't really bring harm upon your betters, eh, mates?"

"All I'm gonna bring is a fist in your face!" Johnny Rancid claimed loudly, earning manly 'yeah's from the crowd as he smirked menacingly, balling a fist and punching his other palm with it.

"Come on, lads, don't get your knickers all up in a twist abou' it!" The Brit replied, laughing nervously and slowly lowering himself to crouch close to the ground. "I-it was just a lil' outburst, nothin' more!"

"It better have been nothing" Rancid growled, bearing his teeth and looking in the direction of two guards that were approaching, apparently attracted by all the commotion. With a swift kick, he knocked Mod onto his back and shooed the other inmates away, turning away to get another meal himself and look 'innocently' busy.

"Oy!" Mad Mod said once out of earshot as the other two villains came up to him, Control Freak rubbing his neck while Mumbo massaged his throbbing wrist. "You lot are utterly useless."

He rubbed his backside and was helped up by the two.

"We're not the ones who called them gits and got them angry, _old man_." Control Freak mocked, pouting and indignantly crossing his arms over his chest.

"This is all a bunch of Hocus Pocus if you ask me," Mumbo replied, giving a dissatisfied 'humph' in the direction of the inmates. "Those boys deserve a trip into the Magical World of Mumbo! Then we'd see who was in charge here!"

"Whateva' duckies, I'm off to plot our little..." Mod hushed suddenly, peering around at the guards that now flooded into the Mess Hall, then lowered his tone and added, "...trip."

Control Freak and Mumbo sniggered at what would be, in their eyes, an ingenious plot.

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NS: Yes, that is all for now. I hope you enjoyed it. I spoke with Michael last night and he helped me formulate some CRAZY ideas...I hope you enjoy them as they come in...I'm not one to beg for reviews, but if you have the time, I'd like to hear what you all think about this story. I think this is the first fic with the lame villain idea, so I would like to be informed about how I'm doing. Anyway, I'll try to update soon, and for those of you who read "Winner Take What's Left": The Sequel is in progress now!


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